Poetry in Motion?
I want my life to be poetry in motion. I think about images and videos from the 50s and the life they portray. The perfect household, the happy family, a grinning dog, parents contented with their roles, children happy in their innocence, etc. It creates this sense of yearning and longing for that perfect life they seem to have achieved. Somehow that’s poetry in motion…
Except I know that those images and purported lifestyles were false. They were a pretty cover to hide the reality of a nation recovering from a world war, of men dealing with PTSD, of women taking over the counter meds to stay ‘happy.’ So is that what I really want?
No. It isn’t. I don’t want a life that looks good on the outside but is just a cover for a weight of sorrow and trauma lurking underneath.
So what do I want? I want to be content in life.
The GNU version of the Collaborative International Dictionary of English defines content as:
Rest or quietness of the mind in one's present condition; freedom from discontent;
satisfaction; contentment.
This is what I want! To experience rest and quietness of the mind. To connect with myself, my goals, desires, failures, successes - all of it - in such a way that I can truly say I’m satisfied. Not as a cover for sadness or trauma - but as an every day reality. Not hiding an unhappy life under the cover of false smiles - but rather embracing all life has to offer with rest and quietness of mind.
As July transitioned to August, I caught myself trying to put that ‘happy mask’ in place to hide frustrations and challenges. It felt like a raging battle as one part of me wanted to put on the mask and another part desperately wanted to find truth and real contentment.
As I became aware of that quiet desperation I paused long enough to sit with it. The internal battle to have the life I wanted was warring with the realities we all face just by being alive. I wrestled with fears, overwhelm, and tried to understand what was really going on. Now I know.
I’m trying to find rest and quietness of the mind, but sometimes that feels too hard. I had given up and put on a false face instead. If I just pretend to be happy and OK - maybe contentment will find me… But I don’t think that’s how it works. I do, however, think that we can have true contentment and satisfaction in our present condition. It might not look like a 1950s happy family, but perhaps it’s even better.
I believe contentment, rest, quietness of mind can be found in many things. It’s finding rest even when the madness of the world weighs us down, it’s embracing quiet in spite of the noise pressing in from all sides, it’s experiencing the joy of connection in a world designed to disconnect. And how do we do those things? I’m glad you asked!
Pause:
Be present.
Find what’s pressing in on you and put it aside for a moment.
Without the mask - what do you feel, and see, and think?
Imagine yourself on your best day, filled with the light of your best self, what would you give yourself?
Accept that gift.
Breathe into the pause.
