Going Deeper with Emotions as a Compass

Did you know that most of us struggle to understand an emotion we haven’t named or defined? To use emotions as a compass, it’s important to name and define them. A bit like knowing what the N stands for on a compass.

Did you know that most of us struggle to understand an emotion we haven’t named or defined? 

I find this fascinating. When we name and define an emotion, we’re much more likely to be aware of it when we experience it. Just like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that type of car everywhere! We attune ourselves to notice the things we’ve identified and called out.

The first step on the road to understanding and using our emotions as effective life-tools is to begin noticing emotions in our everyday life. To make that easier, we need to define them. Defining them is like learning to recognize the new car you’re looking at buying. It sounds easy right? That’s because it actually IS!

Here’s the simple process:

  • Grab a notebook, digital note app, or piece of paper

  • List out some common feelings (i.e. happy, sad, angry, anxious, etc.)

  • Define them (look them up in a dictionary if that helps)

  • Now, for the next two weeks, every time you feel an emotion take a moment to name it and acknowledge that you felt it.

  • That’s it! 

  • List it.

  • Define it.

  • Name it. (When you feel it - acknowledge and name it.)

It genuinely is that simple to start expanding your emotional intelligence. Clearly this isn’t the only way to go about it, and there are other great tools out there to explore. But, it is a great place to start. If it sounds too simple and you’re thinking to yourself, “Ah! But I’m already emotionally intelligent and don’t need to work on it,”  I'll be very cheeky and say you’re wrong. Yeah, I said it.

Emotional intelligence is an area that we can always grow in! I find this rather exciting. Just when you feel you’ve nailed it, you discover more ways to express and experience healthy emotions. Imagine if you could communicate clearly how you feel, when you feel it, to those around you? Imagine having a hard conversation with your partner that was made much easier because you could clearly express what was really going on for you - not just what you could define on the surface of things. And inversely, if they could tell you what was going on in them.

You can know yourself and your emotions well enough to communicate clearly. You can be more in tune with yourself and your emotions in ways that make navigating life and relationships easier. 

Once you’ve done the initial exercise a few times with different emotions, and you want to expand and deepen your understanding of your own emotions, start searching for emotions you might not be so easily aware of. Check out the Feeling Wheel, created by Dr. Gloria Willcox, or do an online search for a list of emotions around a topic of which you are interested in expanding your insight and understanding. I’m sure you’ll discover some new ones! 

Personally, I find looking at emotions defined in other languages, ones we don't have words for in English, can be a fantastic and fun way to expand my own understanding of my internal world of emotions. 

Examples:

  • Hygge (Danish)

  • Roughly translatable as “cozy,” hygge is the feeling of enjoying a warm, comfortable atmosphere at home. It comes along with little acts of domestic joy, such as lighting candles, baking, and spending time with family.

  • Dépaysement (French)

  • A feeling of disorientation that comes from traveling in a country that is not your home. The feeling can be good—inspiring positive new perspectives on oneself and the world—or not so good—triggering slight homesickness. It depends on the way the term is used.

These are all emotions or feelings we can experience. Being able to describe them and understand what you’re feeling is where the real magic happens.

Make your own emotions chart of new emotions and follow the process above to continue your emotional intelligence growth!

Tell us how it went! We’d love to hear about your experience. Send us a message on social media or drop us an email.

Stay in touch.

Questions?